A community of timber home enthusiasts and those who love energy-efficient homes
The Art of Compromise
Probably one of the most difficult parts of building any home is agreeing on design, products, and color. In working with clients recently, I realize how wonderful it is to have two partners who love each other, have been married for years, and yet who still have their own style and feel strongly about what they want for their dream home. I did say it was wonderful. And, it is. This is an opporutnity to compromise and realize that your partner wants their dream just as much as you want yours.
I've found that a lot of men could really care less about "the stuff" in a home. They want a great place to sleep, a terrific workshop/gargage, and the best TV/sound system. Or at least they say they don't care...but I feel sometimes they just don't necessarily want to be bothered with it. A friend of mine bought a new large area rug for her home and it took her husband three months to notice. My husband happens to have a great eye for design and color. He enjoys shopping and most of the time we agree on an item immediately (I know, I am a lucky girl).
For those couples who both do care and do want to be a part of it, the the art of compromise is a necessity. Having someone assist you with compromise is beneficial, someone who will listen to both of your likes/dislikes and then can suggest items that meet both. This could be an experienced (and patient) retail associate, a friend (suggest one who is friends with both of you), or hiring a professional decorator/interior designer.
Color is a huge choice. One likes green, one doesn't, one wants red, the other wants blue. A friend of ours wanted to paint his whole house beige inside and out because it was easy. And, on top of the beige wall color, all the furnishings were to be beige too. Kind of boring, but that's what he wanted. Some professionals call that "batchelor pad decor". Waiting for a partner to color their world, I guess.
Ideas for color compromise are: simply a shade up, down or sideways on the color wheel, or a wall color that one person likes and an accent furniture piece the other really wants in a color they love. Using favorite colors in different rooms can work. And, a neutral color can work with accents of colors that both like.
Once you do graduate from the Art of Compromise, you will walk into your home and smile at the areas you both did compromise on. It can be great conversation at dinner parties. And, you will appreciate that you made it through and have created the dream, together.
I've found that a lot of men could really care less about "the stuff" in a home. They want a great place to sleep, a terrific workshop/gargage, and the best TV/sound system. Or at least they say they don't care...but I feel sometimes they just don't necessarily want to be bothered with it. A friend of mine bought a new large area rug for her home and it took her husband three months to notice. My husband happens to have a great eye for design and color. He enjoys shopping and most of the time we agree on an item immediately (I know, I am a lucky girl).
For those couples who both do care and do want to be a part of it, the the art of compromise is a necessity. Having someone assist you with compromise is beneficial, someone who will listen to both of your likes/dislikes and then can suggest items that meet both. This could be an experienced (and patient) retail associate, a friend (suggest one who is friends with both of you), or hiring a professional decorator/interior designer.
Color is a huge choice. One likes green, one doesn't, one wants red, the other wants blue. A friend of ours wanted to paint his whole house beige inside and out because it was easy. And, on top of the beige wall color, all the furnishings were to be beige too. Kind of boring, but that's what he wanted. Some professionals call that "batchelor pad decor". Waiting for a partner to color their world, I guess.
Ideas for color compromise are: simply a shade up, down or sideways on the color wheel, or a wall color that one person likes and an accent furniture piece the other really wants in a color they love. Using favorite colors in different rooms can work. And, a neutral color can work with accents of colors that both like.
Once you do graduate from the Art of Compromise, you will walk into your home and smile at the areas you both did compromise on. It can be great conversation at dinner parties. And, you will appreciate that you made it through and have created the dream, together.
Comment
-
Comment by Bonnie Pickartz on April 24, 2009 at 5:55am - Your advice is excellent. David and I struggle with color. It's one of those "I'll know it when I see it" or "I'll know it when you tell me" things. However, it's amazing when the right colors and the right mix of colors are offered to us. We then have that "aha" moment. The difference is striking and we can compromise.
-
Comment by Whitney Richardson on April 22, 2009 at 11:41am -
Excellent advice, Pam! Had I only had a blog post like this to read, oh, say two years ago when my husband and I started our decorating journey together. Given that it started with trying to explain to him that drywall white is not a color, you can imagine the fun we had from there. I'm pretty bold in my color choices, but even more bold in what I expected of him. I went so far as to drag him to a Pottery Barn decorating class--where he was, of course, the only guy--because I figured, if he wanted to be involved, he was going to be involved in EVERYTHING regarding the design. (Good information there, although I still to this day am confused as to how a question about mixing painted black and natural wooden furniture effectively somehow translated into "give me relationship advice," which is what far too much of the instructor's answer comprised. I guess the fact that I brought him screamed that, though.)
Needless to say, we finally reached some compromises. (Thankfully I was able to sneak a green wall color in for the kitchen prior to that stage.) And although, It's not perfect, you're right: It's ours :)
© 2010 Brought to you by Timber Home Living
You need to be a member of Timber Home Nation to add comments!
Join Timber Home Nation